Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Stuff
Joe
Posts: 616
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:20 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Joe » Fri Sep 21, 2018 6:27 am

Adam! wrote:
Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:59 pm
My Browns finally won i'm so happy :D :D :D :D
You’re welcome! :lol:

Azmodeous
Posts: 315
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:49 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Azmodeous » Sat Sep 22, 2018 5:18 pm

You know what's awesome? Having your battery die in the Walmart parking lot and when you ask your girlfriend for a jump she tells you she's too tired from work to come 5 minutes down the road to help.

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Wed Sep 26, 2018 10:41 pm

So I haven’t been on here much lately. My wife and I are getting divorced.

She told me that she cheated on me 11 days before our 7th anniversary. At first I was kind of numb. I wasn’t mad. I was more hurt than anything. We never fought, we had a great relationship, got along, talked all the time about everything, worked as a team, helped each other do everything, never seemed to have problems. It was a total surprise to me. I didn’t see it coming AT ALL.

We decided to try and work things out, for the kids and for the great relationship that we had. Emily said that it was a one time thing. She lied.

Last month we went on a date to see a play. When we were still in Harrisonburg we were going to dinner after the show and a guy ran up and said to get inside because there was a guy shooting a sniper rifle off from the top of the building where we parked the car. So we go back to the theater and tell people and a couple people are freaking out and the cops get called and blahblahblah.

It turns out that the guy who was running around telling people there was a sniper is just a dick who was starting trouble. There was no sniper, nobody shooting, no nothing. He just wanted to scare people. I was just saying earlier in the evening that I didn’t go out nearly as much as I used to because people keep getting shot wherever they go and that fucked with me.

So I get home from work the next day and Emily has several hickies on her neck. Not from me, mind you, because I don’t leave hickies. I don’t need to mark my territory. She told me she’d been cheating on me with that same guy she cheated on me with. They went to lunch, she said. Well, you don’t get hickies going to lunch.

Well, I fucking snapped. I just went into a blind rage. I smashed the plants we had. I smacked her. I fucking hate myself for that, too. I would never smack a woman, I thought, not in my wildest fucking dreams. I’m not that kind of person. I fucking hate violence. I ripped her shirt. I spit in her face and called her every damn name in the book. My parents came to pick me up because my aunt and cousin were in town from Wisconsin and we were going to eat and when they got here Emily ran out and left.

I can’t fucking believe it happened. All of it. That Emily cheated on me. That we even tried to work through things. That she never stopped cheating. That I smacked her. It’s insane and none of it makes any kind of sense.

So Emily’s dad called the police. In the ensuing mayhem, I sliced my pinkie open smashing shit. I cut it very, very deep and was pouring blood everywhere. I called wmily’s Mom and told her what had happened and she said that they were talking to the police. She said they wanted to talk to me. She asked if she should come with him and she did. I told them everything that happened and the officer was really understanding. He said that people who aren’t violent in nature sometimes get pushed past their limits and just lose it and that’s exavtly what it sounded like happened. Which it’s true, but I fucking hate more than anything that I smacked my wife. I hate it so much. I never thought I could do that and I swore I never would and I know better and I am better than that, or at least I thought I was. Now I’m not.

So the officer says to go to the hospital and get my finger taken care of and then come down to the police station. He said since I was so cooperative he wasn’t going to arrest me and that he understands that with cheating it’s a hard thing to know how you’ll react until you’re faced with the situation. I had to get stitches. I also have nerve damage and can’t feel to top knuckle of my pinkie and can’t bend the top knuckle now.

So after I get stitches up I go to the police station and technically, while I was never handcuffed, I was arrested. They set a court date and I got to go. I was to have no contact what so ever with Emily and I couldn’t see my kids until court.

We go to court and the judge slaps me with a two year restraining order. We aren’t to talk at all unless it is about the kids. They set another court date for the assault charges and we leave. Emily and I talked after court. She said she would drop all the charges if she could but something in Virginia law states some stuff about assault and she doesn’t think she can. So she’s figuring out if she can or can’t. That court date is on October 1, this coming Monday. She said that if she can’t shes going to tell the judge there that that was what she wants to do.

She’s moved out and in with her parents. Our children spend half the time with me and half the time with her. I was so incredibly devastated by all of it, the cheating, my response, not seeing my children, losing the life that I had and loved, that I sliced my fucking arm wide open. I didn’t even feel it I was so fucked up. I’ve got a scar on my arm hats never going to go away because of it. I am always depressed, but this was another level of depression. I wanted to kill myself. I sold my guns so I didn’t have access to them. I didn’t trust myself with them in the house. I knew by cutting myself the first time that I’d never ever do that again so that wasnt an option anymore. It didn’t hurt when I did it but it hurt like a bitch afterwards.

I was still having suicidal thoughts so I reached out to a suicide prevention specialist on multiple occasions. I went to the doctor and had them increase the dosage of my antidepressants. I’ve been going to therapy and talking to someone about everything that has happened to me in my life has been really helpful. It’s hwlped me to understand that I’m not to blame for being severely abused. Or being raped. Or losing my son. Or being cheated on. My therapist has said on several occasions that I’m smarter than he is and I need to get my ass back into college and do something more with my life instead of wasting my brain. He’s right. I have to get my ass back in college.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that my marriage is over. I don’t miss my wife. I don’t really feel anything towards her at all, except regret for smacking her. I wish I handled that better than I did. Very, very much so. For the rest of my life I can’t say “I’d never hit a woman” anymore because I smacked my wife in her face. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. I only smacked her once, but that doesn’t make it any better. I smacked her. I’ll never forgive myself for that. It’ll eventually become less painful that I did, but it’ll never be okay.

Lately I’ve been trying to just move on. I’ve been going out with friends more than before. It’s been nice seeing people and getting support from people who actually love me because I don’t get it from my family. At first they checked on me but now it’s back to normal and I don’t hear anything from them. Living alone is a bummer. I come home from work and there’s no one here. Nobody is excited to see me and the end of my work day. It’s just me and my lonely place.

I met a girl named Allison. She’s pretty, smart, funny, sexy as hell, and for whatever reason, into me. We talk a lot. It’s helped my shattered self esteem a lot having someone interested in me. She knows all about what happened. She said she doesn’t wanna be my rebound girl and I don’t want her to be. I don’t know what I want and we’re both okay with that for right now. We’re friends and we’re taking it slow and it’s all been cool.

Tonight she text me not to freak out and I’m like lol I won. She got into a car wreck and is in the hospital and has a concussion and whiplash. Her parents and her roommate are there with her. She is gonna be okay and the person that pulled out in front of them is gonna be okay too. Regardless, finding out she got into a wreck and got hurt definitely shook me up. I feel helpless sitting here at home but she says she doesn’t need me there. I don’t know what I feel for her at this point because we haven’t been talking long but I do care about her and it just sucks hat I can’t do anything to make the situation any better for her.

Sorry all this is so long. I just wanted to fill you guys in on the craziness that has been my life for the last bunch of months.
Last edited by Puns on Thu Sep 27, 2018 10:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

-mp-
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:37 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by -mp- » Thu Sep 27, 2018 3:30 am

Puns wrote:
Wed Sep 26, 2018 10:41 pm
So I haven’t been on here much lately. My wife and I are getting divorced.

She told me that she cheated on me 11 days before our 8th anniversary. At first I was kind of numb. I wasn’t mad. I was more hurt than anything. We never fought, we had a great relationship, got along, talked all the time about everything, worked as a team, helped each other do everything, never seemed to have problems. It was a total surprise to me. I didn’t see it coming AT ALL.

We decided to try and work things out, for the kids and for the great relationship that we had. Emily said that it was a one time thing. She lied.

Last month we went on a date to see a play. When we were still in Harrisonburg we were going to dinner after the show and a guy ran up and said to get inside because there was a guy shooting a sniper rifle off from the top of the building where we parked the car. So we go back to the theater and tell people and a couple people are freaking out and the cops get called and blahblahblah.

It turns out that the guy who was running around telling people there was a sniper is just a dick who was starting trouble. There was no sniper, nobody shooting, no nothing. He just wanted to scare people. I was just saying earlier in the evening that I didn’t go out nearly as much as I used to because people keep getting shot wherever they go and that fucked with me.

So I get home from work the next day and Emily has several hickies on her neck. Not from me, mind you, because I don’t leave hickies. I don’t need to mark my territory. She told me she’d been cheating on me with that same guy she cheated on me with. They went to lunch, she said. Well, you don’t get hickies going to lunch.

Well, I fucking snapped. I just went into a blind rage. I smashed the plants we had. I smacked her. I fucking hate myself for that, too. I would never smack a woman, I thought, not in my wildest fucking dreams. I’m not that kind of person. I fucking hate violence. I ripped her shirt. I spit in her face and called her every damn name in the book. My parents came to pick me up because my aunt and cousin were in town from Wisconsin and we were going to eat and when they got here Emily ran out and left.

I can’t fucking believe it happened. All of it. That Emily cheated on me. That we even tried to work through things. That she never stopped cheating. That I smacked her. It’s insane and none of it makes any kind of sense.

So Emily’s dad called the police. In the ensuing mayhem, I sliced my pinkie open smashing shit. I cut it very, very deep and was pouring blood everywhere. I called wmily’s Mom and told her what had happened and she said that they were talking to the police. She said they wanted to talk to me. She asked if she should come with him and she did. I told them everything that happened and the officer was really understanding. He said that people who aren’t violent in nature sometimes get pushed past their limits and just lose it and that’s exavtly what it sounded like happened. Which it’s true, but I fucking hate more than anything that I smacked my wife. I hate it so much. I never thought I could do that and I swore I never would and I know better and I am better than that, or at least I thought I was. Now I’m not.

So the officer says to go to the hospital and get my finger taken care of and then come down to the police station. He said since I was so cooperative he wasn’t going to arrest me and that he understands that with cheating it’s a hard thing to know how you’ll react until you’re faced with the situation. I had to get stitches. I also have nerve damage and can’t feel to top knuckle of my pinkie and can’t bend the top knuckle now.

So after I get stitches up I go to the police station and technically, while I was never handcuffed, I was arrested. They set a court date and I got to go. I was to have no contact what so ever with Emily and I couldn’t see my kids until court.

We go to court and the judge slaps me with a two year restraining order. We aren’t to talk at all unless it is about the kids. They set another court date for the assault charges and we leave. Emily and I talked after court. She said she would drop all the charges if she could but something in Virginia law states some stuff about assault and she doesn’t think she can. So she’s figuring out if she can or can’t. That court date is on October 1, this coming Monday. She said that if she can’t shes going to tell the judge there that that was what she wants to do.

She’s moved out and I’m with her parents. Our children spend half the time with me and half the time with her. I was so incredibly devastated by all of it, the cheating, my response, not seeing my children, losing the life that I had and loved, that I sliced my fucking arm wide open. I didn’t even feel it I was so fucked up. I’ve got a scar on my arm hats never going to go away because of it. I am always depressed, but this was another level of depression. I wanted to kill myself. I sold my guns so I didn’t have access to them. I didn’t trust myself with them in the house. I knew by cutting myself the first time that I’d never ever do that again so that wasnt an option anymore. It didn’t hurt when I did it but it hurt like a bitch afterwards.

I was still having suicidal thoughts so I reached out to a suicide prevention specialist on multiple occasions. I went to the doctor and had them increase the dosage of my antidepressants. I’ve been going to therapy and talking to someone about everything that has happened to me in my life has been really helpful. It’s hwlped me to understand that I’m not to blame for being severely abused. Or being raped. Or losing my son. Or being cheated on. My therapist has said on several occasions that I’m smarter than he is and I need to get my ass back into college and do something more with my life instead of wasting my brain. He’s right. I have to get my ass back in college.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that my marriage is over. I don’t miss my wife. I don’t really feel anything towards her at all, except regret for smacking her. I wish I handled that better than I did. Very, very much so. For the rest of my life I can’t say “I’d never hit a woman” anymore because I smacked my wife in her face. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. I only smacked her once, but that doesn’t make it any better. I smacked her. I’ll never forgive myself for that. It’ll eventually become less painful that I did, but it’ll never be okay.

Lately I’ve been trying to just move on. I’ve been going out with friends more than before. It’s been nice seeing people and getting support from people who actually love me because I don’t get it from my family. At first they checked on me but now it’s back to normal and I don’t hear anything from them. Living alone is a bummer. I come home from work and there’s no one here. Nobody is excited to see me and the end of my work day. It’s just me and my lonely place.

I met a girl named Allison. She’s pretty, smart, funny, sexy as hell, and for whatever reason, into me. We talk a lot. It’s helped my shattered self esteem a lot having someone interested in me. She knows all about what happened. She said she doesn’t wanna be my rebound girl and I don’t want her to be. I don’t know what I want and we’re both okay with that for right now. We’re friends and we’re taking it slow and it’s all been cool.

Tonight she text me not to freak out and I’m like lol I won. She got into a car wreck and is in the hospital and has a concussion and whiplash. Her parents and her roommate are there with her. She is gonna be okay and the person that pulled out in front of them is gonna be okay too. Regardless, finding out she got into a wreck and got hurt definitely shook me up. I feel helpless sitting here at home but she says she doesn’t need me there. I don’t know what I feel for her at this point because we haven’t been talking long but I do care about her and it just sucks hat I can’t do anything to make the situation any better for her.

Sorry all this is so long. I just wanted to fill you guys in on the craziness that has been my life for the last bunch of months.

Joe
Posts: 616
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:20 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Joe » Thu Sep 27, 2018 5:37 am

Damn Puns. Just damn. I’m sorry you’ve been through so much.

I feel like this year has been a doozy. I’ve been through the ringer myself. Text me if you need someone to talk to dude!

Keith6601
Posts: 328
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:25 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Keith6601 » Thu Sep 27, 2018 4:10 pm

Damn Puns. I was going to text you last week to see how you were but I didn't want you to think I was just checking up on you or something.

Like Joe said, you need someone to talk to just hit me up.

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Thu Sep 27, 2018 10:04 pm

Thanks guys. Life has been a whirlwind for me recently.

Keith6601
Posts: 328
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:25 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Keith6601 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:01 pm

PAC returned to Dragon Gate last night/today in his first match since October 1st last year!

Keith6601
Posts: 328
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:25 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Keith6601 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 7:55 pm

Laura's son got a job at the local printing place. It's the company that does all the shirts for most of the indies and wrestlers including CZW. He can get anything he wants free, all he has to do is bring in a shirt :lol:

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:30 pm

That’s awesome!

Azmodeous
Posts: 315
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:49 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Azmodeous » Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:45 pm

Sherry: you have too many movies

Proceeds to unpack double-digit boxes of funko pops and various other nick-nacks and pile them in front of the movies. I loathe having a ton of crap in front of my movies.

ICEMAN KING PATSON
Posts: 418
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:11 am
Location: the folly of man

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by ICEMAN KING PATSON » Sat Oct 06, 2018 6:24 pm

Azmodeous wrote:
Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:45 pm
Sherry: you have too many movies

Proceeds to unpack double-digit boxes of funko pops and various other nick-nacks and pile them in front of the movies. I loathe having a ton of crap in front of my movies.
translation: it's not her shit so it's in her way

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:55 am

Tomorrow I’m going on my first first date in 10 years.

ICEMAN KING PATSON
Posts: 418
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:11 am
Location: the folly of man

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by ICEMAN KING PATSON » Sun Oct 07, 2018 2:10 pm

Puns wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:55 am
Tomorrow I’m going on my first first date in 10 years.
hope it goes well, bro

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Sun Oct 07, 2018 2:39 pm

ICEMAN KING PATSON wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 2:10 pm
Puns wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:55 am
Tomorrow I’m going on my first first date in 10 years.
hope it goes well, bro
Thanks, man. I’m a little nervous because she’s super hot and I’m not lol. Also a decade is a long time. What has changed in dating that I don’t even know about!?

Joe
Posts: 616
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:20 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Joe » Sun Oct 07, 2018 3:15 pm

Puns wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 2:39 pm
ICEMAN KING PATSON wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 2:10 pm
Puns wrote:
Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:55 am
Tomorrow I’m going on my first first date in 10 years.
hope it goes well, bro
Thanks, man. I’m a little nervous because she’s super hot and I’m not lol. Also a decade is a long time. What has changed in dating that I don’t even know about!?
It’s all the same, people just look at their smart phones more now.

Keith6601
Posts: 328
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:25 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Keith6601 » Sun Oct 07, 2018 7:21 pm

Apparently the bases have changed. Sex is a single now. :lol:

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Sun Oct 07, 2018 7:45 pm

I’m gonna hit a grand slam, then.

Keith6601
Posts: 328
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:25 am

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Keith6601 » Sun Oct 07, 2018 9:46 pm

Pics or it didn't happen!

Puns
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 pm

Re: Random thoughts from deep in the mind

Post by Puns » Sun Oct 07, 2018 10:11 pm

Okay, how in the hell do I load a picture on this snitch? It’s been so long since I did I completely forgot.

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