I really think about killing myself. Not anyone else. I don’t wanna hurt anyone but myself. I suck and have always sucked and will always suck and do nothing in my life but fail. I fucking hate everything, myself especially, and it won’t go away. I’ve felt like this my whole life and I’m gonna feel like this for the rest of my life.
It’s been a fucking trying few weeks lately.
It’s been a fucking trying few weeks lately.
If I didn't have Billy, I wouldn't be alive. There's been days where my depression and anxiety get to me and it crosses my mind.
Like Joe said, you have my number, text him.
I just got a Facebook message from Emily’s boyfriend calling me a bitch. Jesus. I don’t want a problem with him. I have no ill will towards him. I want Emily to be happy even if it isn’t with me. I don’t get it. Why?
He is definitely an asshole. He harassed me for an hour or so. I was nice the entire time though. It really pissed him off. He wanted to get a rise out of me and when I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction he got more and more mad. He’s super lucky I’m not me from my teens because I would have likely drove to his house and kicked the fucking shit out of him and ended up in jail. Luckily I’ve reformed and kept all the hate I have inside because of my fucked up life directed at myself.ICEMAN KING PATSON wrote: ↑Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:54 amProbably because he's an asshole.
Dont hate yourself for not being a piece of shit. See that's the thing, successful people are generally massive pieces of shit, they get what they got by fucking people over and they dont give a shit who they hurt along the way. You arent that. Youre better than that. And noone can take that away from you.
I can’t help it man. I was told my whole life I was nothing and never would be anything more. I was stupid, a faggot, a retard. I was never showed love by either of my parents. I was constantly demeaned and hit and screamed at and worse. I never had support of any kind. My parents, my friends, none of them even showed up to my first wrestling match in front of a paying crowd. Not fucking one of them. The only thing I ever wanted to do with my life. Not one bit of support. Chris Hero was on the god damn show and people were telling me after the show that my match was their favorite on the show. And fucking Chris Hero wrestled on it. Yet nobody, not one person who knows me, showed up. And all I ever talked about my whole life was wanting to be a wrestler. Everyone I knew knew it. But when I told everyone I know nobody came, nobody cared, nobody supported me. That’s been my whole life. No support, no love, just being a failure. My parents hate me because I’m not the fucking redneck hunting fishing good ol boy Christian republican like they wanted. I’m a piece of shit to them. The people who were supposed to unconditionally love and support and care for me my entire life never did. My child died. My wife cheated on me, told me for our anniversary, came with me while I got her god damn initial tattooed on my finger knowing she’d been cheating on me and just let me do it, told me she never loved me and never wanted to marry me in the first place. I did succeed in becoming a wrestler but my body didn’t hold up and the only thing I ever wanted in my entire pitiful life got taken away from me. Everything else is failure. It’s all I’ve ever been and all I’ll ever be. It’s seriously only a matter of time until I kill myself. I’ll probably wait until my kids are grown and have gone through college and have a happy life before I do it, but I am definitely going to kill myself. I’ve hated my life all my life and it’s just too god damn hard anymore. I wish I’d just stop waking up so I wouldn’t have to do it but that isn’t going to happen. It’s probably going to be another 20-25 years, but I’m going to kill myself before I get old. I’m in horrible pain emotionally, pain physically every moment of my life. It’s too much. Nobody should be expected to go through a couple of the things I’ve been through, but everything I’ve been through is too fucking much. Too much for me. I hate life every day. People expect me to be the happy funny clown for three and make them laugh all the time, and don’t take me seriously when I’m serious. And I’m dead serious about this. I will kill myself. It’ll be a while, but it’s happening. I don’t want to do this anymore. Life has defeated me. I’ll be reincarnated and maybe my next life won’t defeat me before I get a chance to start.
Just wanted to echo these exact words. It’s no joke to say you have people here who care about you.
Beautiful! Welcome to the club, buddy! I’ve been censored for the same thing. I once had a comment removed for calling a Trump supported a douche, but in my defense they were a total douche. Been censored on Facebook, Twitter, got kicked off the old ROH board TWICE...I think those are the only places. Shit, I’ve been damn near kicked off here too a couple times!
I had Ethan Van Sciver come after me not long after I got on Twitter more regularly. He sent trolls after me and someone got my number and tried to call. They left some dumb message that I deleted after listening. The kid who called sounded like he was 12. I've never been banned or anything but have had Facebook eat a few comments here and there. Facebook is lame, btw, and Twitter is a cesspool of the worst of humanity. Why do I keep going back to them then???
I just was appalled/wowed by the massive balls to equate an attack on the values (racism and obsession with celebrity) of Trump's core as some sort of hate speech. If I didnt already believe the majority of the human race were insane, borderline illiterate man/woman babies I would be totally bewildered.
They opened an arcade near me. 10 bucks gets you all day free play. Spent the morning sucking at Arkanoid and destroying shit on Rampage. So much fun to play classics again on actual machines instead of emulators and such.
That's like the one I went to in Tennessee. I love that concept. They opened an arcade near me and its straight quarters with no day pass but a day pass would be pointless since it's mostly ticket machines, like 85% ticket machines.